Break the Matrix

Today, I stepped outside onto the porch in my family's back yard to watch Vincent, the family cat, stroll out into the backyard. I have done so countless times in the past, so there was nothing about the circumstance that felt out of the ordinary. While standing on the porch, however, I was compelled to stick around and to look out into the yard albeit I could not immediately discern what held my gaze.

It took a moment to discern the reason why I felt so ensnared by a vision I have beheld countless times in the past, but it eventually dawned on me how beautiful the trees were; then, subsequently, I realized how much my eyesight had changed since I began face-pulling. I am myopic, like a good majority of the population, and while it is true that my vision has not become all that much sharper, witnessing nature in particular is almost overwhelming at times now because my perception of colour has become more vibrant, and my depth perception has become such that I feel a little more integrated into my surroundings. It is such a difficult thing to quantify in words...

Staring up into the pine leaves of a giant tree, it was as if I was inside of a living, breathing painting. It was beautiful beyond my capacity to express in words... although, unlike my brief experiences on the empathy drug called 'MDMA', it did not put me into overwhelming ecstasy, which I was grateful for. In a short explanation, it was serene, eternal beauty... and it shocked me to realize that such a marvel had been outside behind the back porch for the past two years that I lived here.

I wonder if anybody else has had a similar experience. Have you been struck by something beautiful lately, that you wouldn't have normally perceived as such? It is bizarre, and still sounds a little insane, but as I become prettier, it seems that my perception of the external world also increases in objective beauty. It feels, at times, as if I'm becoming united with my surroundings, and can begin to identify with the external world, instead of simply perceiving it.

I cannot wait for summer, to begin taking long hikes amongst natural artifacts!