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Posted by: Walrus
« on: June 17, 2013, 04:31:32 pm »

Just thought I should make a final update.

My treatments continue to go well, and I plan on continuing NCR for life.  I usually treat most days and experience no PT symptoms.  Progress has become very gradual but is still consistent.  Treating takes so little time and effort it has quite simply become habit (like brushing my teeth).

I now combine my treatments with face-pulling, which I also plan to continue for life.  See the "Face Pulling Experiences" threads to find my method.

Best of luck to all those attempting self-NCR!  I hope this diary can help you overcome the initial discomfort that accompanies treatment.
Posted by: Walrus
« on: May 15, 2013, 10:05:31 am »

Your posts have inspired me as well Tyler.  I always find your writing to be very honest and insightful, and I am grateful for all your posts.  Keep 'em coming!

I know what you mean by the white noise of suffering.  I too have been dealing with this for a long time.  It is in the last few years I began to question my life, what I have become, how I became this way, and how I want to be.  I became aware that I had a serious problem at the most fundamental level.  This of course is my defective skull.  And once I became aware of this "noise", it was no longer possible to ignore.  It was now in the forefront of my existence and left me no choice but to try and fix it.

I believe your emotional reaction was due to a realization of how much this treatment can help you.  Before I began NCR, I would sometimes imagine myself with my skull as it was meant to be (as it was when I was a child, before orthodontics) and feel so eased.  My depression would disappear.  Just from thoughts.   It made me realize how badly I wanted to fix my reality.

I have a similar reaction too when I look at photographs of myself from my childhood, when I was still healthy.  I can remember how I felt back then.  I know it sounds cliche, but I can remember a time when I was happy.  Proud.  When life was a joy.  It was taken from me, and my only goal to get it back.  Nothing else matters, except to feel happy again.  I feel we share a common goal, and I hope we can continue to help each other.

It is okay to be afraid of treatment.  I was too.  I thought maybe I was going to break something inside my head.  After all, it's a weird thing to stick a balloon up your nose and inflate it!  The key is to take it slow.  Don't do anything you are uncomfortable with.  Push yourself, but push gently.  Positive results will gradually build your confidence.

My experience with breathing was like yours.  Initially I would try holding my breath, but would sometimes still end up gagging.  And gagging isn't good of course, and may make you averse to treatment.

I have found expanding until I hear the "cracking" is what works for me.  This occurs before the balloon reaches my throat and gags me.  For a while I was trying to inflate to the maximum (ie. until gagging), but this was hard as my body didn't want me to gag it.  I also started popping large finger cots, which while not harmful is still not a pleasant experience.  I also found no additional benefits to expanding beyond the "cracking".

And yes, avoiding gagging has gotten easier as treatment progresses.  I don't really hold my breath anymore.  I find during treatment my mouth is open and I breath through my mouth, as if I had my nose plugged (which I do, I guess).  This is nothing conscious, it is just what comes naturally during treatment.

After reading your questions I actually went and treated, to pay extra attention to what I was doing so I could explain it to you.  I found I cannot really seem to make myself gag anymore.  I am more worried about popping the balloon than I am about gagging!  The balloon goes through my turbinate now much easier than in the beginning.  Basically I just pick a turbinate, stick the balloon in, inflate gently until it squeezes through the turbinate, then give it a few good pumps until my ears pop (then usually don't pop simultaneously).  Then I may inflate a few more times to see if there is anymore cracking (usually there isn't and these extra pumps don't accomplish anything).  Then I deflate and repeat usually ~4 times.  Then I move to the opposite turbinate and repeat.  I usually treat all turbinates, unless my body tells me to stop (this had happened a few times after a lot of cracking.  Things feel a bit too sensitive). 

During this particular treatment, I started top right.  Next came top left, middle right, middle left.  When I got to bottom right, I experienced significant cracking in my right ear.  "Cracking" actually feels like the wrong word.  It feels like shifting.  Like tectonic plates shifting.  It's a bit shocking when it happens, and makes you feel a bit sensitive.  It's also sometimes higher pitched, like squeaking.  Anyways, after a few inflation's it stopped.  Finally I treated the bottom left, but things were now feeling a bit sensitive, so I just did a few inflation's to end treatment.

Post-treatment I always feel fine now.  Maybe a bit of fatigue later in the day.  If I touch my skull (like run my hands through my hair) things feel a bit sensitive, but that's it.  This is why I have been somewhat aggressive with multiple treatments in a day.  If I feel like it later today, I will treat again.

A couple more things.  I find exercising before treatments helps prepare or "loosen up" the body.  Today I worked out before-hand, and feel it helped.  I think anything that raises your heart rate should work though.  This isn't a necessity of course, but may help increase results.

Also, in my posts I have described feeling "sensations" in limbs and extremities etc. (arms, legs, feet and hands mostly).  The feeling is like an insect crawling on you.  It only lasts an instant.  I have experienced this during and post treatment.  Just something to look for.

And finally, remember that my experiences with NCR may be completely different from yours.  Everything I have just said is true for me, but may not be true for you.  You're going to have to figure this out for yourself.  Experience is the only true teacher.

Best of luck Tyler!
Posted by: Tyler
« on: May 14, 2013, 01:28:11 pm »

Your journal has been a great inspiration to me, Walrus!

Last night, I chose to alter my consciousness for a few hours by inhaling cannabis smoke. Consequently, while in a state of awareness toward my physical body, I became cognizant of every point of compression and discomfort that my distorted skull was applying to my brain. If my consciousness, and brain, could communicate using words, I know they would both be screaming all of the time: "It's cramped, and we don't have any room to breathe! Let us out!!!"

It is remarkable to me that, in a mentally acute state wherein the ego dominates my consciousness, I am unable to detect this sort of consistent pain, but I suppose that, when an individual has been living with discomfort for so long, the pain eventually becomes like white noise; that is to say, it becomes undetectable to the consciousness.

While it was discomforting to be made aware of my own cramped, disorienting cranium, something marvelous also occurred as I read your most recent report. I don't know why it occurred all of a sudden, but, suddenly in that moment, I could clearly imagine your experience as if it was happening to me. In other words, for a brief instance, I could vividly integrate your description into my consciousness, and it brought an amazing sense of relief to the point where I nearly wept! I will go so far as to say that, for a brief moment of amazing consciousness-freedom, my personal reality shifted to accommodate yours!

After the experience, like a waking dream, had faded into my conscious block, I got up and walked into the bathroom, determined to make this procedure work for me just as it has worked for you, even though I had also become cognizant of the fact that I was incredibly scared of it! Being aware of my physical body certainly helped; therefore, with great determination, I finally managed to succeed in expanding the balloon, I believe for the first time, against my sphenoid bone! My vision became a bit blurry, and I felt dizzy, afterward, but I also felt incredible joy because of this success, which had eluded me for weeks!

I am going to practice again today, knowing that I can eventually make this work!

I do have one question for you, though, which might serve to hasten my progress. My question is this: Did you initially struggle to hold your breath while inflating the balloon against your sphenoid bone?

I realized last night that my experimenting over the past few weeks has been hindered every time because I had not been holding my breath while expanding the balloon; hence, my tongue was not present to block the balloon from entering the back of my mouth. I am now holding my breath as hard as I can, yet the pressure keeps winning, causing my tongue to buckle under its weight so that the balloon slips down and gags me. I will try to use smaller amounts of pressure to control the procedure in a more nuanced fashion, yet I find myself curious: has the expansion of your throat cavity lead to greater ease in holding your tongue, and your breath, while pumping air into the balloon?
Posted by: Walrus
« on: May 13, 2013, 06:56:46 pm »

During session 3, I started becoming quite comfortable with the treatment.  So instead of following a schedule for treatment, I decided to simply treat as my body dictated.

This means I treated a lot in the past couple weeks.  Sometimes up to several times per day.  I was also treating each turbinate during each session.  At the most, I was probably performing 5-6 treatments per day.  For a while I was craving treatments.  I was also experiencing practically no post-treatment symptoms except for brief and mild sensations in extremities, and a feeling of sensitivity.

Changes I have noticed since beginning treatment:  The first change was an improvement in symmetry as I described before.  Next I notices my forehead looking taller and the back of my head looking flatter.  Now it seems my maxilla is beginning to come forward.  Also, I believe I may have grown bigger and stronger, based on comments from friends (I have not measured myself though).  Also I'm under the impression my throat cavity has increased in size as I am now capable of inflating the balloon more (I have managed to pop a few large balloons).  However, I have found that inflating until gagging is not necessary.  I have found inflating until hearing the "cracking" or "popping" in the ears is optimal.  Inflating until gagging also causes me to go through a lot of balloons.

I have also found times when treating a certain turbinate produces significantly more "cracking", which is higher pitched and longer lasting.  Almost like squeaking.  It is possible that this could be just pressure in my ear, but then I am not sure why it occurs seemingly randomly.

For the last couple days I have been taking a break, as I developed an aversion to treatment.  I will probably continue treatments tomorrow.

Thanks for the reply MM!  I actually haven't been documenting via photographs as I don't have a decent camera, so there's a good chance I won't ever post pictures.  Sorry to disappoint!
Posted by: MessiahMews
« on: April 29, 2013, 07:06:29 pm »

Awesome report!  Can't wait to see your before and after pics!
Posted by: Walrus
« on: April 29, 2013, 07:02:57 pm »

Session 3 Mon, Apr 29, 2013.

I took a 3 day break after Session 2.  I knew the break was necessary as I was developing an aversion to treatment.  This is in contrast to some days where I am eager for treatment.  Days like today!

D1:  I treated the entire left side in the early afternoon.  Treatment was easy.  I am getting much more comfortable with this.  I treated each turbinate at least 4 times.  I stop as soon as there is aversion (ie. I hesitate) before inflation.  This is a subconscious reaction, but is also easy to determine consciously.  Just ask yourself "do I want to treat again?".  If the answer isn't an immediate "yes" and more like a "uhhh... I dunno", then I know I'm done.  If I get to the point where the answer is a resounding "NO!" then I have over-treated and risk harming myself.

No PT symptoms.  A little fatigue a couple hours later, so a lay down for a bit.

In the early evening, I had the urge to treat again, so I did.  The entire right side this time.  Again, treatment was easy.  I was less eager than earlier though, and treated a little gentler.  4 treatments on the upper and middle.  After 2 treatments on the bottom I felt I was done. 

Mild symptoms after the second treatment in the form of light body soreness.  It's hard to describe, as there are no specific or chronic sensations... I just kind of feel like things are changing... my body feels a bit sensitive is the best way to describe it.  I didn't feel this way after treating only the left side.

I finished treatment just about an hour ago, and I feel good.  At the moment, I like the idea of treating all turbinates in a day, and will continue with this procedure until my body tells me to rest.  I'm not sure if I'll do them all at once, or treat the left and right sides at different times.

I have to say, I feel good right now from todays double treatment.  Very "balanced" and "open".  The best I have felt since beginning treatment.

Posted by: Walrus
« on: April 24, 2013, 03:33:24 pm »

Hey everyone,

Recently I started self-NCR treatment and think it is worthwhile to document my experiences in order to both learn and educate!  I hope someone may find this useful.  If you have any advice or guidance to offer me, I'd greatly appreciate it (I posted my questions at the bottom)!

The protocol I am following was describediny an email written by Ben, which another forum member forwarded to me.

Session 1  Began Tues, April 16, 2013

4 consecutive days:  Day 1 (D1): upper and lower left turbinates (UL/L).  Day 2 (D2): upper and lower right turbinates (UL/R).   D3=D1.  D4=D2. 
1 finger cot. 
Treat each turbinate 3-4 times each day.

D1 involved becoming comfortable with sticking a balloon up my nose.  At some point, the balloon inflated into my throat, gagging me.  Then it popped.  After that, I decided I'd had enough for the day.  Side effects of this day were soreness behind my nose on the left side.  Probably from stretching the turbinates.

D2. I had a frustrating time getting the balloon out of the turbinates and into my throat.  For some reason I find this more difficult on the right side.  Expanding the balloon in the turbinates is painful, and caused me to tear up.  I found trying switching turbinates helps, as well as changing balloons.  Eventually I got to the open space though.  I found 3 pumps of the bulb worked.  4 pumps and I would start to gag.  I also felt popping in my ears after 3 pumps.  This was a similar sensation to when flying on an airplane.  Side effects again were soreness behind my nose, this time on the right side though.  I also developed flu-like symptoms, mainly stuffiness.

I noticed improvement in facial symmetry after this day, which amazed me.  Also, I believe my wonky feet (I have duck feet, especially on the right side) straightened out somewhat.

D3, D4.  The flu-like symptoms had subsided, so I proceeded with treatment.  I don't remember specific incidences from these days, so they must have been relatively unremarkable.  I would inflate until my ears popped, and then would deflate.  A couple more balloons popped, so I switched from size medium cots to large.

2 day break.

Other effects from session 1:  Tiredness.  I would often need to lie down after treatment.  Feelings of calmness and focus.  Temporary sensation in random body parts (arms, hands, legs).

Learning to attach the finger cot well was frustrating.  Very important though.     

Session 2  Began Mon, April 22, 2013

I am still just becoming comfortable with the treatment.  It's a little unsettling to inflate a balloon (finger cot) inside your head!

4 consecutive days.
1 finger cot. 
Treat each turbinate 3-4 times each day.
I began treating the middle turbinate as well.

D1:UML/L.  No new and remarkable sensations.  Again, inflation until my ears popped.  3 pumps was no longer working, likely because of a new balloon and it being attached differently.  I instead used short, quick pumps, which inflated the balloon slower, but in a more controlled manner.  This involved 20, 30 or more little pumps.  I'm still apprehensive about over-inflating the balloon and harming myself, even though I'm not sure if this is even possible with only 1 balloon.  As I see it, over-inflating will either a) pop the balloon or b) gag me, both of which I have already done and which caused no harm.  However, it is always best to trust one's instincts, so I will continue to proceed with caution.  I will try and inflate more as I become more comfortable with the treatment. 

D2:UML/R.  Again, pain and frustration due to balloon inflating inside the turbinates instead of the space in behind.  Changing balloons solved this.  I'm still trying to determine how much I should be inflating the cot.  At around 3:50 in the vid below you can hear how much air is released from the balloon.  This is significantly more than I have been inflating, so I will gradually work towards more inflation. 

Mild headache after treatment, behind my right eye.

D3=D1:  Still getting comfortable with inflating the balloon.  I used deeper pumps today, and even though I thought I was pumping a lot, not much air was released upon deflation.  I would inflate until my ears popped, then slowly keep inflating.  Often my ears would pop again.  I do not believe I am over-inflating as I am not usually gagging (I gagged once today, which I had not done since session 1). 

No post-treatment symptoms whatsoever so far.  No fatigue either for the first time.

Edit:  D4=D2:  The entire procedure was more comfortable today.  Again, inflating until ears popped, then deflation.  At this point it gets harder to pump, as I gather the balloon is pushing against my skull. 

No PT symptoms again or fatigue


How much inflation have people found to work?  Is the optimal amount of inflation to the point just before gagging?

How many times do people treat each turbinate each day?